Fathers must become role models, balancing strength, tenderness

The following essay by an anonymous father is a beautiful Father’s Day tribute.

“We will solve many problems in our society when young men are willing to become good fathers. This only happens if they have an example to follow.

As fathers, we need to be strong role models for children, especially for our sons.

I loved my father. He had a tremendous sense of humor, but he also was strict and set boundaries that I didn’t always appreciate at the time. I always knew he loved me. Once when I was eight or nine, I angered him so much that he threatened to punish me. I looked up at him and blurted out, “Papa, I’m really sorry. Do what you have to do – but I know you still love me.”

To my astonishment, he leaned down, put his arms around me and said. “Christoph, I forgive you.”

Like many fathers today, my father’s work sometimes kept him away from home for long stretches.

I remember as a five-year-old, if I refused to obey, all my mother needed to do was to show me his picture. “Your Papa wouldn’t like it,” she’d tell me and I’d give in.

I felt very secure just being with my father. As a small boy I decided I wanted to be like him when I grew up. This relationship held me through difficult times, even after his death.

Now I want to pass this onto my children, grandchildren, and to all of you.

Fathers, if you love your wife and your children, give them your time. Spending time together will give your family inner and emotional security. This is much more important than financial security.

The Chilean poet Gabriela Mistral writes, “Many things can wait. Children cannot… To them we cannot say ‘tomorrow.’ Their name is today.”

The love we show our children by giving them our time and attention can hold them in good stead even years down the road.

As Fyodor Dostoevsky reminds us in “The Brothers Karamazov,” “You must know that there is nothing higher and stronger and more wholesome for life in the future than some good memories, especially a memory of childhood, of home… For if a man has only one good memory left in his heart, even that may keep him from evil.”

To be a father is to fulfill a noble vocation, but fatherhood is not for everyone. It is not for cowards or for those who are unsure of themselves.

Once we become fathers, we remain fathers until we die. A true father must be a leader – a captain who guides his family’s ship through perilous waters to safe shores, a general who rallies his troops to take on the daily battles.

On the other hand, a father should also model love and compassion. Jesus was not afraid to compare himself to a hen gathering her chicks. He also wept. These qualities belong to true manhood, and a true father will seek to embody them.

Finally, I believe even the best intentioned fathers cannot fulfill their task without finding a firm faith in God. When they do, they will strengthen their families and the entire country, because strong families form the backbone of our nation.”

The following is a father’s prayer by Kathy Sherman, CSJ.

“Teach us to listen and not be afraid to trust in God’s promises. Teach us to love courageously with a heart that is true and just. Teach us to protect one another, and all that belongs to God. Teach us to keep the Word of God close to our hearts, to proclaim it in word and action. Teach us to be gentle with our power and strong in our tenderness. Teach us to be for our children, a living lesson of goodness and truth; a blessing of hope for all generations to come. Amen.”

Have a Happy Dad’s Day!