Finding the strength to disapprove – yet continue to love

People who have a healthy, positive self-image are not usually prejudiced toward others. They do not have to put someone else down to build themselves up. They have come to realize that they are made in the image and likeness of God.

The nature of God is love. The person who is trying to be like God wants to eliminate all unloving behavior.

I received a letter a few years ago from a mother who was going through a difficult time accepting her son as gay. She was struggling to be totally loving toward her son while at the same time dealing with the Catholic Church’s teaching on homosexuality.

I think the letter speaks for itself:

Dear Father Todd,

I recently read your article in the paper regarding Christ’s forgiving nature and how we should do as he did. Unfortunately, many fail to live up to his standards (as do I), and we often forget that he created us in his image and likeness, with the faults and failings of our humanity.

This weekend, our son visited with us from college and told us he wanted to speak with us (he is almost 25 years old and a law student at a New Orleans university). He handed us each a letter and began to cry softly, telling us that he knew this would hurt us very much and he was sorry that he hadn’t told us before.

Yes, you guessed it – he is gay.

Our son is a wonderful young man and realized the pain this would cause us, especially his dad, mainly because of the beliefs of our Catholic faith.

Our son reminded us that he knew that the church didn’t condemn the gay person but did not condone acting on his sexuality. He told us he had met someone who made him happier than he has been in a long time, and that he would not give up this happiness.

As hard as this is for us, I know that he is our son and will always be our son – from birth and to eternity – and we love him with all our hearts.

I wrote our son a letter and told him how much we loved him and how we would always be there for him. I asked him to make sure that he was safe and secure.

I also asked him to continue to practice his religion, for when we choose to do things not according to church teaching that is when we need God the most.

He is a good man, and my God is a loving God, a forgiving God, a generous God. My son will one day share in His glory.

I told our son that we were here for him today, tomorrow and always, and we will be with him one day in eternity.

Our son did not choose this lifestyle – he is what he is, and he was created by God. No one chooses a life that will bring unhappiness because of the way people react to them. So to say that you are gay is a big step, and I am proud of our son for taking that step.

I ask that you place us in your prayers that we may have the strength and courage of our son, to be there for him no matter what.

Thank you for the article you wrote and the comments you made to those who criticized you. When I first read it, I had no idea how “personal” that article would be.

Thanks again for your prayers.

May we always be loving toward others even if we do not approve of their lifestyle. When we love, we become more like God.