Remembering Andrew Joseph ‘A.J.’ Scafide: Family mourns man who always gave back

They gathered for celebration of a life well-lived, the children, grandchildren and the greats, along with the other loved ones of Andrew Joseph “A.J.” Scafide.

He died of natural causes at the age of 87 on Feb. 15 at home, surrounded by family members.

From the banks of Bayou Dularge to the shores of Libya, with an adding machine in his hand, a trumpet or tuba, the man everyone came to call “Big Pop” left an impression wherever he went, easily making friends and serving as an example to those privileged enough to know him for the entirety of their lives.

“He was the light of our lives.,” said Debbie Reed, one of AJ’s three daughters. “He loved people, he was a very strong man in character and faith. He had a lot of integrity and was very ethical.”

He was born in Bay St. Louis, the son of Arthur Scafide, president of Hancock Bank in Pass Christian, and Katy, who was primarily a homemaker. Both of their parents emigrated from Italy to New York in the 19th Century. World War II was nearly over in 1945, when he graduated from St. Stanislaus High School. But he felt compelled to serve, and joined the Navy in May.

A talent he developed in school, the ability to play trombone, was good enough to get him into the US Navy band; He also played the tuba.

“He picked up the trombone again in the 1940s and 1950s but didn’t play much after that,” said another daughter, Lynne Gibson, who also has fond recollections.

After discharge from the Navy AJ attended classes at Tulane University; loved ones say he might have made that choice because his uncle, the late Johnny “Baby Grand” Scafide, had played on the school’s football team. He concluded his studies, however, at LSU, which awarded him a bachelor’s degree in 1950.

His first civilian job after college, with the National Supply Company, resulted in a transfer to Houma. It was there that he met the love of his life, Mary Etna Porche, whom he married in 1952.

There were five children altogether, Debbie and Lynne along with another daughter, Gaynel, and two sons, Gregory and Kyle.

The children were raised primarily on the family’s Bayou Dularge compound, where AJ often drove a tractor and made time not only for his own kids but their friends.

He was a long-time manager of the Sterling Electronics Company on Magnolia Street in Houma but later landed what he called a dream job, with Santa Fe International as a human resource manager.

That position, his children said, brought opportunities for travel.

His work took him to Libya.

He was stationed there for a year. President Ronald Reagan had ordered all Americans out, in preparation for the bombing that would claim the life of dictator Muammar Gaddafi’s son; a company employee was being held in a Libyan prison at the time.

“Dad stayed behind to help him get out,” said Debbie.

There were later assignments in Lafayette, Oklahoma and Texas. But eventually AJ began hanging his hat with the family in Dularge.

He was a founder of a cub scout pack on Bayou Dularge and was its first cub master.

Even in retirement he remained busy and placed an emphasis on community service. He was an active member of the Knights of Columbus at St. Eloi Catholic Church, where he also served as a church lector. He volunteered for the Dularge Fire Department.

AJ celebrated 61 years of marriage with Mary in 2013, but she passed away shortly thereafter.

Life was not the same for AJ after that; loved ones noticed a difference in his demeanor, although he tried keeping his spirits up.

“He was less engaged with life after she died,” said their son Kyle. “It was a huge vacuum in his life, he never quite recovered from that.”

At his services a Navy color guard presented AJ’s flag, the gift of a nation’s gratitude. for service to country.

The family agreed that his grandson, Casey Carroll, the recipient of a Purple Heart who as wounded in the roadside bomb explosion that claimed the lives of six fellow National Guard soldiers in 2005, primarily members – like Casey – of Houma’s Black Sheep company.

For the generations that followed, loved ones said, AJ provided a great power of example as to how life should be lived.

“Most of the man I am today is because of my dad’s teaching,” said Kyle, a professor of educational research at the University of New Orleans. “He believed first of all in responsibility to family. Responsibility to family and tenacity were really important to him, he didn’t tolerate quitting or giving up on anything.”

Andrew Joseph “AJ” Joseph Scafide is remembered by loved ones for patience, integrity and a lifetime of service to his community.

COURTESY PHOTO