5-second rule may apply

My family has a horrible habit of crashing into or dumping things. Five minutes into any area, something is going down: baskets, sodas, you name it.

So it goes without question that holidays are challenging in the Armstrong household.

First, there’s the holiday trip to Oklahoma with my aunt at the wheel. An eight-track tape (yes, I’m that old) of Diana Ross and the Supremes accompanied us on the 10-hour ride. All the while, snow kept coming down harder. Snow is challenging for Louisiana drivers, and my aunt was no exception. We safely reached the Perry city limits only to slide passenger quarter-panel first into the city’s snowplow. Close, but no cigar.

Another holiday classic was the Christmas Eve that my mom and aunt managed to dump an entire pot of spaghetti in the sink in an attempt to drain it with a gaggle of children anxious to open presents milling about. Everyone was sent packing except me. I got to stay with the threat that if I told anyone that unfamiliar taste in the spaghetti sauce might, in fact, be dishwashing liquid, I may not ever get another Christmas present.

In fairness, I’ve had my share of faux pas. Few are as embarrassing as last year’s turkey spill.

After hours of tending to the bird – adopting the litany of tips Chef Gordon Ramsey and the other TV chefs offered viewers – it was finally time for dismount. Not wanting to wash another pot, my turkey sat in the oven in a throwaway aluminum pan. Cleanup was going to be a breeze.

Well, it would have been if the pan had kept its shape.

As I pulled the pan from the oven, both hands gripping industrial-strength potholders and one eye on the NFL game on TV, the pan folded, sending turkey drippings down my legs and the bird taking one final, fatal flight.

Fortunately, the bird landed breast-side up. The light skin was saved, but most of us just settled on eating stuffing … and leftover spaghetti.

So it goes at the Armstrong estate.

This year, however, I have a lot to be thankful for as does my family. My job was to buy the bird; my younger brother’s is to cook it. I’m also thankful for the new roaster pan we bought from Walmart. Most of all, though, I’m thankful for family, good friends, good food and the five-second rule. In a house of klutzes, you never know when it will come in handy.