10 things to look out for in the NFL season

On this glorious day I like to call ‘NFL Eve’, let me paint a picture for you.

You’re at your favorite restaurant and it’s 6:35 p.m.

For me, it’d probably be Outback Steakhouse, but the specific place isn’t part of the story.

You’re starved after a long, hard day at work, and you’re just dying to eat.

Alas, from the kitchen double doors (because you’re keeping an eye on them the entire time you’re there), you see a waiter haul out a huge tray full of delicious treats.

The waiter turns the corner and appears to be heading your way.

Granted, you’ve already had your appetizers, but there’s nothing like the main dish, so you grab your knife and fork and gently place your napkin at your lap.

With every step the restaurant employee makes, you feel a little more saliva build up in your mouth, as you’re now totally revved up to pig out.

But your drooling lips soon go desert dry, as much to your dismay, the waiter stops one table short of yours and delivers the tasty treats to the folks sitting right next to you.

What a terrible feeling. What a complete and utter bummer.

That’s sort of how I felt this weekend while watching college football.

The appetizer, the college football season opener, yes, that was delicious. But when that was day was done and Sunday got here, the main dish went to someone else’s table all day, everyday.

Doesn’t that just make you sick to your stomach?

But lo and behold, we’re finally going to get the main course delivered tomorrow when the Saints take on the Vikings in the Superdome – a game that will feature two of the NFL’s best.

And while everyone here is looking at that one specific game, that matchup will only be a small bite in the entirety of this delicious meal.

So let me give to you a small sample of what I see taking place at your dinner table this year.

Here are my Top 10 predictions for the 2010-11 NFL season:

10. Jay Cutler will be a beast under Mike Martz’s scheme – You’ll be hard pressed to find someone more critical of Cutler than I’ve been in the past few seasons. From his first day in the league, I’ve called this guy a fraud. But under Mike Martz, things will be different. That guy made Jon Kitna a Pro Bowler. For those of you who don’t know who Jon Kitna is, that’s exactly my point. Cutler will put up fat stats in 2010 – book it.

9. Mount Bengal soon to erupt – Terrell Owens has blown up teams by himself. So has Adam “Pac Man” Jones. So what do you think is going to happen when these guys team up with the likes of Tank Johnson, Cedric Benson, Matt Jones and Andre Smith, with a little bit of Chad Ocho Cinco on the side? I can tell you what will happen – lots of incoherent tweeting and lots of losses.

8. Two birds tumble, two birds make a giant leap – With Kurt Warner having retired, the Cardinals will take a step back. Likewise, without Donovan McNabb, so will the Eagles. Those guys are just too good to “replace”. But on the rise this year will be birds of a different feather in the Falcons and Ravens. Matt Ryan is too good to not bounce back from the sophomore slump he experienced last year. And in Baltimore, adding Anquan Boldin gives the Ravens their first legitimate receiving threat in the Ray Lewis era.

7. Albert Haynesworth will prove to not be worth $100M – Like as if this one isn’t obvious enough already. From failing his conditioning test to getting “headaches,” the dude has been a complete waste of money, and one could argue this has been the best case of robbery since Bonnie and Clyde.

6. Colts will not win 12 games – The Colts have won 12 games for seven-straight seasons. That’s nuts. If it wasn’t done right before my eyes, I’d argue that it’s not possible. But two games with the Titans, two games with the Texans, as well as contests with the Giants, Patriots, Cowboys and Chargers will push them to 10-6 or 11-5 this year. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

5. Pete Carroll will revitalize Seahawks – If Matt Hasselbeck can stay healthy, and that’s a big IF, the Seahawks might be a turnaround story in 2010. Watch out for Golden Tate as a sleeper for Rookie of the Year. If anyone knows how good he can be, it’s Carroll, who watched him victimize USC to the tune of eight catches, 117 yards and two touchdowns.

4. Tebow might play … he just won’t play well – I have no doubt that at some point during the season, the Broncos will play the American Hero, Tim Tebow. They have to. He is leading the entire NFL in jersey sales. That’s not a misprint, he leads THE ENTIRE NFL. So at some point, they will give into temptation and play him. When they do, expect to see much of what we’ve seen in the preseason – interceptions, big hits and the Florida star holding his ribs. Not easy being a hybrid quarterback/fullback in the NFL with these big, nasty linebackers, huh?

3. The Pats will be back in a big way – I’m no Patriots fan, but even this hater can see how amazing they’ve looked in the preseason. They always say it takes a quarterback two years to fully recover from an ACL injury, and Tom Brady has proven that to be true so far, hurling for 273 yards and three touchdowns in a recent preseason game against the Rams. Don’t sleep on these guys. At 15/1 odds to win the Super Bowl, they’re probably the best bargain out there right now.

2. The biggest headache in Minnesota will be Brett Favre, not Percy Harvin – Sequels never work – except if you’re Rocky Balboa. Brett Favre’s second honeymoon, farewell tour is no exception. The dude’s been limping up and down the Vikings practice facility and it’s only September. Imagine how bad it’s going to be after 16 games of being hit. That is, of course, assuming that he lasts the entire 16 games.

1. My Saints prediction – pretty good, but no repeat – And lastly, what you all want to know: “Will the Saints repeat?” And my answer to that question is that unlike previous Super Bowl champions, I honestly think they have a legitimate chance to do it. But at the end of the day, it’s so hard to be the best twice, and I think someone will knock them off. You just rarely ever get all the breaks two years in a row, and I have to think someone will knock these guys off their perch. So I’ll go with 11-5, the NFC South Title and a NFC Championship Game loss to the Green Bay Packers.

Here’s to football.

Don’t stuff yourself too badly.