Breaking down the field of 64 … in television history

The brackets have officially been released and it’s that time of the year, sports fans.

That time you’ve all been waiting for.

That day where you take your lunch break early, so you can be near a TV screen for that 11 a.m. first round tip-off.

In my case, it was also that day when you pretended to be sick, so you could go home and order Domino’s and watch hoops the remainder of the day – AKA the best known remedy for a headache, right?

It’s the time of the year for upsets, buzzer-beaters and mid-majors.

It’s such a complex science that experts in the field are given the title of ‘bracketologists’, because as we know, anyone with ‘ologist’ at the end of their title is an obviously a genius.

I’m sure you have guessed it by now – it’s March Madness.

This year’s field is more wide open than ever, with some analysts predicting upwards of 20, or even 30 teams having a shot to reach the Final Four.

I don’t plan on having the perfect, million-dollar bracket, so I won’t even try to tell you who I think will win.

Today, we’re going to do a little something different.

Imagine if the 2011 NCAA Tournament was played by TV sitcoms and the goal wasn’t to win the national championship, but rather, to win the crown of the best show of all time.

Our crack staff of experts (comprised entirely of myself and my various alter-egos) have made the bracket and seeded the teams.

Now, it’s up to you guys to determine the winners.

Log on to the Tri-Parish Times’ official facebook fan page and send in your picks, so we can determine once and for all the king of TV history.

Oh yeah, when you’re filling out your brackets – remember these helpful tips, too.

These tips apply to both TV and basketball. I’m just that versatile:

• Stick with the 1-seeds – A 16-seed has never beaten a 1-seed – ever. That’s like in the past infinity years. So for the 16-seeds in our bracket like “Mayberry R.F.D.”, “Mork and Mindy”, “The Love Boat,” and “Coach,” prepare to go home unhappy – because you’re losing in the first round, pal.

• But don’t be overly loyal to the 1-seeds – Trust in the powerhouses in the opening rounds, but remember this: Since 1985, all four No. 1 seeds have reached the Final Four just once. And that occurrence took place in 2008, so it’s not likely to happen again this year. So that means somewhere along the line “M*A*S*H”, “The Andy Griffith Show”, “I Love Lucy”, or “The Brady Bunch”, will bite the bullet and get tripped up. If it were me, that would occur in the Lafourche Regional, where I’d pick “Saved by the Bell” to upset the Brady’s. Not trying to sway voters at all. Just sayin’.

• Mid-majors might or might not succeed – In the basketball world, the mid-majors are the schools with low enrollment numbers that take part in lesser-known conferences. They are teams like Gonzaga, Butler and Indiana State. Sometimes those teams surprise the world – sometimes they fall flat on their faces. In our bracket, the mid-majors will be the cartoons like “South Park”, “Family Guy” and “The Simpsons”. Sure, they are all big hits, but do people really prefer animation to actual humans? I guess we’ll find out.

• A 12-seed will beat a 5-seed – Just as sure as there are death and taxes in life, it’s equally certain that a 12-seed will knock off a 5-seed in the opening round of the tournament. It just happens every, single year. It’s almost like it’s a part of the law of gravity. In our TV tournament, I think “Three’s Company”, “The Wonder Years” and “The Beverly Hillbillies” are safe bets to be winners. But if I’m “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”, I’m pretty nervous right now, because No. 12-seed “The Partridge Family” is more than capable of pulling the upset.

• Who will be Cinderella? – Every year, one team shoots from the woodwork and makes a run at the Final Four. The LSU basketball team did it in 2006 – and seemingly hasn’t won a game since. Last year, little-known Butler shocked the world and was a half-court heave away from becoming national champions. I don’t know if this is just bias on my part, but something tells me that we should keep our eyes on the St. Mary Region with No. 9-seed “Modern Family”. That show enters the TPT Tournament red-hot and I believe that people always favor the most recent occurrence in their minds, which gives a hefty advantage to shows that were filmed in this millennium. Also look out for “Happy Days”, “Roseanne” and “Sanford and Son” – all of which are not a top seed, but can make a legitimate claim to be in the Final Four.

Happy brackets and enjoy the games. I know I will.