Teen living between 2 worlds

Aaron Dardar lives in two worlds.

In one of those worlds, the soft-spoken, androgynous South Terrebonne High freshman is surrounded by family members who recognize that Aaron, born a female, identifies as male, and have been accepting and supportive through his sometimes bumpy journey.

In the other, Aaron is tormented by bullying schoolmates whose behavior, he and family members say, has gone unchecked by school officials, and been dealt with by restrictions placed on the victim rather than consequences meted out to victimizers. Records and information supplied by Aaron’s family including a recording of a meeting with school officials appear to verify some of their concerns. School officials – limited in what they can publicly say because of strict laws regarding student confidentiality – indicate a desire to help, but also cite limited options.

Terrebonne Superintendent of Schools Philip Martin said last week that he cannot discuss matters relating specifically

to Aaron, although there are strong indications that Aaron’s situation is very much on his radar. After being told of matters being examined by The Times, Martin made a statement indicating his administration’s overall goals and philosophy.

“We want any student to go to school and feel comfortable with any situation they will encounter in school, and that is the case for every kid,” said Superintendent of Schools Philip Martin. “We want every child to go to school without any type of apprehension, fear or anxiety, and will work with any parent.”

AFRAID FOR MY CHILD

Those goals are not being met in Aaron’s situation, he and his parents maintain. They continue to work with school administrators to find solutions, but say progress is needed to ensure Aaron’s safety and well-being, as well as that of other students whose trials may not have come to official attention.

“I am afraid for my child,” said Aaron’s mother, Amber Smith. “You can have all the support at home there is, but going through school should not be a fearful thing, especially for someone with so many goals and so much potential. My child is being deprived of an education because of fear.”

Among the specific problems Aaron and his parents allege this school year:

* Physical abuse by an upperclassman including an incident where Aaron was allegedly shoved down stairs.

* Failure of administration officials to report that incident to the police.

* A Physical Education class change without notification, allegedly due to discomfort some girls had with having Aaron in their class.

* Inability to use bathrooms because of taunting and harassment by bullying girls.

* Allegedly inadequate policies and practices for bullying intervention. —

“Schools have an obligation to protect all of their students, to create an environment in which all students are supported and equally protected,” said ACLU Louisiana Director Marjorie Esman, after being informed of Aaron’s difficulties. “A school needs to create an environment in which everybody is respected for who they are, that is their responsibility.”

GUIDANCE AVAILABLE

The ACLU is a major contributor to a landmark guide for schools, along with the National Education Association, the Human Rights Campaign Foundation and other groups. The report, “Schools In Transition,” notes the multiple challenges facing schools with even the best intentions of supporting transgender students.

“Educators may have concerns about their own capacity to support their transgender students, or hesitate to act because of personal feelings or fear of negative reactions from the larger community,” the report states. “Similarly, families and caregivers are sometimes uncertain about what support their child needs in school or question the school’s commitment to the well-being of their child. This dynamic can create an adversarial relationship among the very individuals working to support the student. Finally, transgender students themselves may struggle with a variety of issues in seeking to be authentically seen, including

Amber Smith and Aaron Dardar embrace at their Montegut home after discussion of how issues at South Terrebonne High School are being overcome.

COURTESY

Amber Smith and Aaron Dardar hold hands, signifying the solidarity their family has displayed in helping support Aaron’s transgender status.

COURTESY