Oilfield wives mean business when it comes to support

The old saying, “behind every successful man is a strong woman,” has some of its best examples living in the petroleum industry. At the same time, members of the Oilfield Wives Association define their own success in the strength they gain from one another.

Together, they support a lifestyle many Americans will never know. As a group they are becoming a force that could influence national policy and help improve economic conditions along the Gulf Coast.

Scott Caves is the husband of an oilfield wife. He is also an offshore oilfield worker and president of the 3,000-member International Association of Oilfield Trash, which maintains a Facebook page he created for interaction among professionals in the oil and gas production industry.

During one of the weeks that Caves happened to be off duty from his rig in the Gulf of Mexico, and back home in Bedford, Penn., he was checking the IAOT site when his wife, Carly, had an innovative impulse.

“We were together one night and I thought, ‘I’m kind of jealous. I want to start my own group,'” said Carly Caves. So, during the autumn of 2009 she launched the Lives of Oilfield Wives, which soon evolved into the Oilfield Wives Association.

Caves said that by spring 2010 the OWA had attracted 300 members from across the country. It was a group that knew what they desired.

“You get the support that not everybody else understands,” said Stephanie Halligan, an oilfield wife and mother of two young children in Franklin. “We are a different group. We don’t get our husbands home every night. They are gone for weeks at a time.”

Halligan said that her husband, Ted, who is an ROV (remotely-operated vehicle) pilot supervisor on a construction vessel, had heard about the OWA from a message sent through the IAOT and encouraged her to join.

“I thought she would enjoy being part of the group because she can discuss things with other women in similar situations,” Ted Halligan told the Tri-Parish Times in an e-mail sent from aboard ship in the Gulf of Mexico. “They can all relate with raising children and having to fix problems around the house while their husbands are away.”

Caves explained that in her situation she thought she was a social oddity, living in a part of the country that is not typically familiar with the offshore oil and gas industry. While her husband commuted by airplane to work on a platform surrounded with miles of ocean, she remained home with teenage children and felt isolated. “I didn’t know any other oilfield wives,” Caves said.

Caves, Halligan and other oilfield wives confirm that their lifestyles require them to often be both mother and father to their children. They are frequently forced to deal with family finances on their own and learn to perform household repairs or address everyday emergencies without a spouse present to offer knowledge, experience or a second opinion.

Then there are the days of loneliness and emotional struggle. They contend it is similar to the challenges faced by military families – both with spouses away performing some of the most dangerous jobs on the face of the earth.

“Your friends and family don’t know what it is like to be living without your husband,” said Amanda Boudreaux of Morgan City. “It’s having to deal with kids and everything; and [now] having the added stress of not knowing if your husband is going to have a job tomorrow. It’s hard.”

“My friends here say I have the perfect life. I say I like it because he comes home and by the time he starts doing those annoying man things it’s time for him to get back to work. Then after about a week I really start missing him,” Caves said.

Amber Mize, an oilfield wife from McComb, Miss., said that the OWA began mostly with light conversation, the sharing of recipes and the revealing of household cleaning tips. But that changed, and their relationships deepened, on April 20.

“On the morning of April 20, I got up and saw on the news that there was an oil rig on fire in the Gulf. But I didn’t know which one,” Mize said regarding the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon off the coast of Louisiana.

Mize said her first response was to go to the OWA Facebook site and see if anybody knew any details. But once she logged on, she found that Caves had already disabled the message wall.

Caves explained that during the initial reports of the Deepwater Horizon disaster there was a lot of uncertainty. “I didn’t want anyone who had not heard about it to learn it here,” she said.

“I thought that was about the kindest thing anyone could have done,” Mize said of Caves’ action.

As news involving the oil well explosion and subsequent gushing of crude oil expanded, the wall was reopened and OWA members began talking about their fears.

Their relationships deepened while they shared a tragedy – which made the idea of an overflowing toilet or a nagging neighbor pale in comparison.

Another thing happened to the online social network. Membership of just over 300 participants swelled to 1,225 by the end of August.

Eleven lives were taken on the Horizon explosion and oilfield wives around the globe realized that not only could the loss of a spouse have involved any of them individually, but the passing of 11 brothers in their extended professional family did as well.

“My husband was on a BP rig at the same time,” said Naomi Saxton of Lafayette Parish. “I just didn’t know which one. I was anxiously waiting for his call. Finally, he called.”

Saxton said she has been an oilfield wife for six years but was hesitant to get involved with social networks or click on anything unfamiliar for fear of computer viruses, but she is glad she found the OWA.

“As long as I have been an oilfield wife, and there are many around me, I have never felt this support,” Saxton said.

In addition to offering moral encouragement, a place to laugh and a place to vent, members of the OWA soon found that their virtual connection led to tangible relationships – particularly when the federal government imposed a six-month offshore drilling ban that resulted in their economic uncertainty.

The purpose of the OWA in a matter of days changed from being a social gathering place to a sisterhood; dedicated to supporting a lifestyle as natural to their families as fishing is to a family of shrimpers or agriculture is to a family growing sugarcane.

Boudreaux said that OWA members are determined to keep life close to what they know as normal and help others achieve that goal.

“One of the oilfield wives needed cash because her daughter was going to camp and her husband had lost his job because of the [drilling] moratorium,” Boudreaux said. “So, some of us gave $10 each so her daughter could go to camp.”

“August [was] a tough month for members of the oilfield wives,” Mize said as her voice choked with tears. She explained that many members shared frustrations and fears online, but some have assisted others with meeting their grocery needs by sharing from their own pantries and freezers.

“We really got close after the Horizon explosion,” Mize said. “When you get to the point that you are spending more time at night praying for your friends and their families than you do for yourself, I think that means you are becoming the person God wants you to be.”

“The thing about the oil industry right now is that a lot of families are going through a lot of grief,” said Lester Olinde, a licensed counselor with Magnolia Family Service in Thibodaux.

Olinde explained that networking groups like the OWA are important for people in the situation oilfield wives find themselves. “I think the biggest thing is that it is a matter of knowing that, ‘somebody else is going through what I’m going through,'” he said.

“Your family might say, ‘Oh, you can get another job.’ But you can’t say, ‘get another profession,'” Boudreaux said.

Olinde stressed that it is out of their common fears that members of groups like the OWA often find their greatest strength. “Another thing is that when they are faced with hardship they become very intuitive,” he said. “They come up with ideas they normally would not have come up with.”

One significant idea for oilfield families has arisen out of the OWA women’s intuitiveness. Beyond having a good laugh, or a good gripe, or sharing tips on how to comfort a child that is crying because he misses his daddy, OWA members have focused on an effort that could impact the wellbeing of their industry and the lifestyles of people who depend on petroleum-based products. This social network is taking on the task of being a political voice.

Under the authorship of Barbie George of West Monroe, the OWA plans to deliver a petition to President Obama and members of Congress calling for an end to the offshore drilling moratorium prior to Nov. 30.

“I published the petition on June 4,” George said. “I got 5,228 signatures in about a month.”

OWA signers of this petition stressed that they agree with protecting the environment and called bringing those responsible for the Horizon disaster to be held accountable a matter of critical importance.

They also noted that the drilling moratorium not only impacts the oil and gas industry and their families, but also promises to damage other industries dependent on the raw material of crude oil. OWA members said that the drilling ban is an action that has become detrimental to the already hurting national economy.

According to information provided by George, for each platform that is currently idle up to 1,400 jobs are at risk. This could easily translate into a loss of $10 million in wages every month on every platform while the moratorium continues.

“I wish people would understand how much they depend on the oil industry as a whole,” Halligan said of the business in which she and her husband have invested their lives.

“The worst part of the moratorium is the uncertainty,” added Boudreaux. “Many of the men who operate oil rigs and construction vessels in the Gulf now have temporary assignments doing maintenance and cleaning work. That could end tomorrow.”

“I stand with the people of Louisiana in opposing this moratorium and call on the president to listen to the workers, small business owners, and communities who are suffering from the current freeze on offshore drilling,” Rep. Charlie Melancon (D-Dist. 3) told the Tri-Parish Times in an e-mail statement.

“Louisiana has a working coast, where people make good paychecks producing the domestic energy that drives our nation. They want to get back to work, doing jobs they love and providing a good life for their families,” he said.

In July, the House of Representatives passed an amendment sponsored by this lawmaker designed to lift the moratorium in what he called a responsible way that “protects worker safety.”

The Melancon amendment stated that that rigs that had been fully inspected and deemed safe could get back to work. As of Aug. 30 the bill was still held up in the Senate.

“We in south Louisiana want more than anyone to prevent another tragedy like Deepwater [Horizon] from happening again. But the irresponsible decisions and dangerous actions of one company shouldn’t shut down an entire sector of our economy, sending thousands of workers to the unemployment line. We need to fix the problems that led to this disaster in the Gulf, without paralyzing America’s domestic energy industry in the process,” Melancon said.

“We feel the moratorium is unfair,” Caves said. “After the oil rig explosion we lost 11 oilfield brothers. Within days they had been forgotten and it was all about the oil spill. It’s not that any of the oilfield wives don’t care about oil spills. Of course we care about our environment. We also care about our families and our economy.”

These oilfield wives agree that the Deepwater Horizon tragedy should be taken seriously. They also believe that families are being punished. These women stressed that they simply want to get their husbands, boyfriends and brothers back to work and get back to the business of being oilfield wives.

“That’s the way it is with an oilfield family,” Mize said. “We make due. We will survive.”

“[The OWA] has become such a support group for so many women,” Caves said. “When I started it I never dreamed it would turn into what it is.”