The Haven breaking the cycle of abuse

National statistics show that domestic violence and sexual abuse are a learned behavior passed down from generation to generation.

The Haven in Houma has been working to curb the effects of domestic violence and sexual abuse for years. The non-profit agency offers temporary housing and counseling services to victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse in Terrebonne Parish.

Domestic abuse is an individual’s attempt to take power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, oftentimes including the threat or use of violence.

The Haven’s Executive Director Julie Pellegrin said the abuse can come in many forms; however, none of them are acceptable. Louisiana has the third highest number of females being murdered by males in the U.S.

Nationally, one in three women are abused in their lives by a person claiming to love them. That statistic holds true for Terrebonne Parish, though there are no individual parish breakdowns, Pellegrin said.

“I have been doing this for eight years, and each year I see a rise in individuals who need our help,” she said.

Who’s being abused?

National statistics show that 98 percent of all domestic abuse or sexual assault victims are female. There are some male victims, but the numbers are much smaller. Over the years, The Haven has serviced males, but the majority has been female victims, Pellegrin said.

Last year, The Haven provided shelter to 160 women and children, according to Pellegrin.

“That was the maximum number of people we could shelter at our facility,” she explained. “The others were bused to our partnering communities.”

The center’s non-residential program serviced another 514 survivors of abuse, and responded to 921 domestic violence and 341 sexual assault crisis calls last year.

Though the numbers may seem high, Pellegrin said they only scratch the surface because many crimes go unreported. As a crime domestic violence and sexual assault, in Pellegrin’s opinion, are the most underreported simply because they are the only crime where the victim is sometimes accused of being responsible for the abuse.

“Most times, the perpetrator tells the victim that the abuse was their fault, so they are reluctant to report it to authorities because they fear nothing will be done about it,” she said.

The Haven does not report all adult abuse cases to the police, because it’s at the discretion of the individual involved. However, the state does require that all child abuse cases be reported to child social services and law enforcement.

Providing solutions and intervention

The Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence says abuse against women cannot be adequately understood, and intervention will never stop the battery of women. However, The Haven’s services can ensure some safety for victims and their children until the violent environment is eliminated.

As part of a statewide network, The Haven offers two programs: a domestic violence program for Terrebonne residents and a full-scale sexual assault program for both Terrebonne and Lafourche residents.

“We provide community education and solutions for the causes of domestic violence, and we provide intervention services or direct services to victims and their children,” Pellegrin said. “It is with each service that we hope to provide counseling and educational support to victims of domestic violence or abuse to break that cycle.”

The Haven helps survivors understand that domestic violence is a crime, and that they are not responsible for the abuse. One of the main solutions to domestic violence or sexual abuse is to hold abusers accountable.

“No one deserves to be beaten or sexually assaulted, and the person who chooses to use violence as a means of gaining control over a partner is responsible for the abuse,” Pellegrin said. “That’s why it is key for The Haven to have an open relationship with local law enforcement and the community on the prevalence of domestic violence and sexual abuse and the ways they can get involved.”

The Haven believes that battered women have the right and capability to make decisions for themselves and that they have the right to establish a nonviolent living situation. Pellegrin said The Haven best serves women because they offer them the opportunity to regain control over their lives through finding safety.

The name of the shelter The Haven provides as part of its intervention methods is called Margaret’s Home. Pellegrin said the shelter can house up to 22 survivors and their children.

“Many people in the community do not have a place to go when there is violence in the home where they live,” she said. “They don’t have access to resources that are necessary to obtain other housing. The shelter is a temporary place where you are safe, while we assist you and work with you to obtain more permanent housing that will not involve you having to return to the violent situation.”

Another service The Haven provides is legal advocacy, which includes reporting the crime, helping the individual obtain temporary restraining orders and escorting victims to court so that they have some form of support system while going though the process.

“We want to show them that there are alternatives they can take instead of living in violence and fear for their lives, whether it’s obtaining a restraining order, moving to temporary housing, counseling or case management,” Pellegrin said.

Other services include counseling programs for groups or individuals where issues involved with being a victim are examined. During the sessions, community educators show victims how to cope with what they are feeling, Pellegrin said.

The children of the abused

Domestic violence affects children as well as women.

It’s The Haven’s mission to show children that it is not OK to solve problems with violence, Pellegrin said.

“There are a lot of emotional issues that go on with children who have to live in a home where violence is present,” she said. “We have a children’s program that is aimed at helping them overcome the obstacles of domestic violence and understand what has happened.”

Adolescent girls and teens can also learn about healthy relationships as they relate to teen dating violence.

Pellegrin said the program teaches teens signs and symptoms of an abusive relationship.

“Dating violence has always been a part of the program for years,” she said. “But it is much less known or people have been reluctant to talk about it in the past. I think within the last year or two it has become more prevalent because people are more aware of it, and we need to make young girls aware of it.”

Pellegrin said if a woman wants to seek help for her or her children, they should call The Haven’s toll-free hotline at 1-800-915-0045.

This weekend The Haven will hosts its annual “The Home is Where the Heart Is” gala to raise money for the services they provide.

The event is scheduled for Saturday beginning at 6:30 p.m. at the Houma-Terrebonne Civic Center.

Pellegrin said the gala features a silent auction boasting more than 200 items ranging from sports memorabilia and artwork to weekend getaways and spa trips.

It also includes Gourmet To Go, an auction dedicated solely to food items.

Tickets cost $50 per individual and $100 per couple.

For more information about the gala or available services at the The Haven, call Pellegrin at 985-872-0757.