Vet stands his ground in Alzheimer’s battle

Ray Timberlake drove to the bank on a hot summer day in July of 2012, something he had done for 33 years, but this time he looked up and had no idea where he was going.

Ray fought for his life and his country in the Vietnam War. The 71-year-old veteran fights a different battle every day. In 2011, he was diagnosed with a disease that strips people of what they know and who they are, Alzheimer’s.

Although roughly 5 million people have been diagnosed, the disease may impact more people than the numbers show.

“I got a phone call from him and I thought he was taking long, but you never know,” Ray’s wife Sarah Timberlake said. “He says; I don’t know where I am, click (he hangs up).”

Sarah, 62, tried calling her husband back, but the call went straight to voicemail. Ray called back about 20 minutes later and still had no clue where he was. Sarah asked him to name some of the landmarks around him, click. He hung up again. After having her minister search around the bank, still no sign of Ray.

Sarah received another call from her confused husband who said, “I see a bridge. I think it’s the Sunshine Bridge.” Sarah and their minister drove to Donaldsonville to retrieve Ray when she received another call. This time Ray said it was not the Sunshine Bridge, but the Huey P. Long Bridge in Jefferson Parish.

“I said; ‘Whoa! That is in the opposite direction’”, Sarah recalled. “We pulled over and I told him to give me a landmark, and he says I see a hotel, the Comfort Inn. We put the Comfort Inn in the GPS and find out it is at the foot of the Sunshine Bridge.”

Sarah told Ray to wait at the Comfort Inn. As she and the minister pulled up, he was pulling out. When Sarah waved Ray down, he came to her and had no recollection of being lost.

“From then until the end of the year, he was still able to drive effectively as long as he had someone with him,” Sarah said. “Since then, he does not drive. He said he likes to have a chauffeur, and I drive him around.”

Ray had signs of Alzheimer’s dating back to 2007 after his knee surgery.

Their grandson, Blake Castex, stayed with them for a few days before leaving for California. The three of them woke up at 3 a.m. to get Blake to the airport, and Sarah noticed a change in Ray’s personality.

“My husband is very even-tempered and does not get upset or angry with anyone,” Sarah said. “Very out of character, Ray got exceptionally angry with our grandson. We though that was a bit odd, so we thought maybe it was the emotion of him leaving.”

It would not be the last time the even-keeled grandfather snapped.

In 2008, the couple had finished preparing their swimming pool for the summer months when their daughter, Melissa Loupe wanted to know if she could come swim tomorrow with her triplets. Ray said yes, but the next day he forgot they were coming.

“He picked up the phone and called her and told her he dealt with the chemicals and it wasn’t ready,” Sarah said. “He went into this diatribe about her asking permission, and we knew something was wrong.”

After seeing Dr. Kenneth Gaddis, now a neurologist with Oschner Health Care, the original diagnosis was mild cognitive impairment. Ray suffered several more episodes leading to more doctor visits. However, he could not technically be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s because they did not have the blood tests and they did not do Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scans at the time. A PET scan can show abnormal cell clumps in the brain commonly associated with Alzheimer’s.

In 2011, Ray began clinical trials with the Louisiana Research Associates where he tested positive with the Alzheimer’s gene. He continues to receive clinical trials in hopes of slowing the disease’s progression and aid researchers in finding a cure. Ray receives monthly transfusions of Crenezumab, an antibody agent designed to slow the cognitive decline and improve functioning in those with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s disease.

“It may progress slower, and we pray that it does. Right now there is no cure, just like there is no cure for cancer, but cancer can go into remission because of people who did clinical trials to find medicine for it,” Sarah said. “We want that for Alzheimer’s. We want that for our four children, eight grandchildren and their three great grandchildren along with the rest of our family. That is important.”

Dealing with the disease is not easy, but it has not affected the couple’s spirit. They sit on the couch watching television; Ray will say something to Sarah, who has hearing difficulties. She will ask what he said and Ray will respond, “I don’t remember. I have Alzheimer’s you know.”

Joking helps them to make it through the day.

“It keeps me up, that’s it. It keeps me going,” Ray said. “I don’t take it for granted, but it is what it is.”

Sarah driving Ray around is not the only adjustment the couple had to make because of the disease.

She has to monitor her tone and the rate at which she speaks. She admitted she is loud and sometimes will ask questions in succession. It is sometimes too much for Ray to register, which sparks his anger.

“Alzheimer’s can completely change someone’s personality. Someone who is peaceful can now become easily frustrated and agitated,” Louisiana Alzheimer Association Administrative Assistant Megan Bourg said. “They can become confused about what is happening, and they get angry.”

The Timberlakes also have to be conscious of how much Ray eats. Sometimes he may eat too much or may not eat enough because of the disease.

“It is an issue of losing memory. It is not just that he may forget who I am, but he forgets simple things he has to do,” Sarah said. “It is just a matter of seeing the current condition and dealing with it.”

Ray loves eating at restaurants, but crowds can be overwhelming for him. His family takes him to places he is familiar with and places familiar with him. Ray and his daughter ate out and were going to play rock, paper, scissors to decide who paid, a ritual on past outings. Ray could not remember how to play.

“He could not figure out who really won. I told him he won because it made him feel good to be able to buy me something,” Loupe said.

Loupe said it is tough to see her father, a proud man who fought in the Vietnam War and worked in the oil industry, battle Alzheimer’s.

“It is difficult for me to watch him in this state because the conversations change,” Loupe said. “It becomes more of me telling stories and letting him laugh because he may not be able to answer yes or no to questions.”

One of the biggest challenges is not taking away Ray’s dignity, especially with everyday tasks such as dressing and eating. Ray is just happy he has someone to wake up to every morning.

“I could not imagine that, living alone,” he said. “Sarah has been with me every step.”

Despite future challenges as the disease progresses, the Timberlakes remain optimistic.

“We do not take it as a ball and chain kind of thing where it is going to drag us down because our attitude will define how we deal with the illness,” Sarah said. “Having a good attitude may not stop the illness, but it will make dealing with it a lot easier.”

Ray and Sarah Timberlake take it one day, one hour or even one minute at a time in the battle against Alzheimer’s. 

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE TIMBERLAKES