Alas, the World Cup is here

Someone call the doctor, because I have a fever.

We’re not talking about a typical 100.6 temperature that will require some antibiotics and a few days of rest – this fever is here to stay – at least for a month or so, from what people tell me.

This fever is so strong and so intense that it sends me into hallucinations. I envision people kicking round balls into large, wide nets. I envision billions of fans taking to the streets and I see these same people singing in harmony as the ball goes into the net.

Alas, the fourth summer is finally here, which means it’s time for the World Cup.

Am I the only one in the Tri-parishes with the fever? Maybe, maybe not. There isn’t enough research yet to tell if it’s contagious. But either way, I’ll tell you more about why you should be excited about celebrating the world’s sport this summer.

The first reason would probably be the large magnitude the event has across the globe. Isn’t it just so amazingly cool to know that you’re watching a sporting event played in South Africa that is being watched by people in Brazil, Japan, Australia and all across Europe?

Each year, estimates show billions of people … BILLIONS of people tune into the World Cup. That’s approximately 10-20 times more people then the 93.2 million people who tuned in to watch the Saints win the Super Bowl in February.

Maybe I’m a numbers nerd. Maybe I’m just a follower and I like to be a part of the “in-crowd.” Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s neither. But I just think it’s impossible to try and say that the entire world is wrong and that I am smarter than billions of people, so I always get geared up for this time every four years – the only time that I’m a soccer fan.

Another reason I am jacked up is good, old-fashioned Patriot Pride. Yes, this is a soccer competition – the finest in the world.

But this could be a carwash contest, a hamster race, a hotdog eating contest, a spitball shooting exhibition or an arm-pit smelling display – if the people involved are representing the USA, I’m all for it. That’s just how I am. That’s how I’ve always been. When the red, white and blue are being represented, I am going to be all aboard the bandwagon.

What makes it even easier in this particular instance is that America … well, frankly, isn’t very good in soccer.

This is not basketball where we can show up with our best players and dominate every other country.

Soccer is not baseball, so this certainly isn’t our past time. Every little bit of success the stars and stripes have in the cup is a bonus. Vegas lists the team as an 80-1 pick to win the whole thing – something we’ve never done before. So gather with me, good friends, and let’s be good Americans for a day. It’s our right as patriotic supporters of the USA to believe it’s our birthright to be better than every other country at everything imaginable, right?

OK, OK, that last part was a joke, but don’t tell that to the fans in South Africa and all across the globe.

The Americans will be booed pretty fiercely throughout the entire event and I honestly cannot think of a team in the field that will be more disliked than our boys.

But forget what they say, because it’s inevitable. We’re going to win this thing one day. And we’re going to prove everyone wrong in the process.

If you need incentive – we’re like the Saints of the World Cup. We pretty much always lose pretty badly.

But you remember that one time when the Saints didn’t lose? Do you remember how awesome that was? Yeah, you don’t want to be the one person who misses out when the Americans finally come out on top, because it will be pretty special.

So the festivities start on Saturday when America takes on England in their first match of group play.

Also in the United States’ group is Algeria and Slovenia. To make it to the next round, the Americans have to finish in the top two in that pool.

It will be a close race and it will definitely come down to the wire.

And my blood will be bubbling with fever every step of the way.

And yours should, too.