Fantasy Football 101: A rookie primer to gridiron games

The NFL preseason starts Sunday when my 2011 Super Bowl champion Dallas Cowboys take on the Cincinnati Bengals.

What this means is two-fold.

Firstly, I will be cheering entirely too hard for a game that doesn’t matter.

Secondly, I will be doing some scouting.

Yes, scouting.

How does Tony Romo look? Like one can tell in the three snaps he’ll take.

How sharp is Cedric Benson? Does he look distracted after his offseason troubles? Because I can sense distraction after seeing a guy wing it for one carry.

What about Chad Ocho Cinco? Will his touchdown output in the new year be closer to the ‘ocho’ or will it be nearer ‘cinco’?

That’s a big dilemma.

Yes, it’s time to prepare for another season of fantasy football.

A time when you’re cheering for a receiver to catch the ball and be tackled – only if the tackler is on your team as well.

But whispers from the grapevines tell me not everyone has caught onto this fad – this awesome, awesome fad.

So I’m here to help. Get your suits and dive in – here are the basics of fantasy football.

What it is?

Fantasy football is like playing Madden – sort of.

It’s fantasy in that you can have a team of guys scattered all around the league. Last year’s Team Gisclair lineup: Give me Romo at quarterback, Chris Johnson at halfback, T.O. and Calvin Johnson at wide out and Jeremy Shockey as a tight end.

From there, you score points based on how well your individual player performs. Romo throws a touchdown? +6 points for you and your team. Romo throws a pick? -2 for your team – and screams of anger from me.

If the Cowboys play the Titans and Romo is pitted against Johnson? Then you cheer for Dallas to pass it well and the Titans to rush it well.

That’s the name of the game – you cheer for players, not teams. Whether an individual’s team wins or loses has no impact on your fantasy team. It’s all about if that one player performs well. It’s an egotistical player’s dream.

For some Saints fans, you might be cheering for the Black and Gold, but if Lance Moore or Reggie Bush is on your opponent’s team, you’ll be rooting for anyone but them to find the end zone.

For me, I draw the line there and always put my Cowboy pride above all else. But in some fantasy leagues, money is on the line, so all bets are off.

Who to draft?

Now that you know the name of the game, here’s a who’s who of the players you should look to draft this season. The breakdown of your roster is usually simple – one quarterback, two halfbacks, two receivers, a tight end and a hybrid player who can be a halfback or a wide receiver.

You are also allowed a kicker and a team’s defense.

So here goes:

• Quarterback:

The short-list: Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers

The sleeper: Matt Ryan

Stay away from: Ben Roethlisberger, Kyle Orton and David Garrard

Sure, if one gets the guys on the short list, you’re set for the season. But if you’re not blessed enough to get a top-tier guy, try and steal Matt Ryan of the Falcons. He suffered from a bit of a Sophomore Slump in 2009, but he seems poised to be a great pick in the middle rounds of a draft.

Steer clear of Big Ben. Nothing against the guy, but a fantasy quarterback just doesn’t do you much good if he’s not in the lineup during the first six games of the season.

Where Orton and Garrard go, neither has the receiving weapons that will allow them to consistently put up the big numbers.

• Halfback:

The short list: Chris Johnson, Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson

The sleeper: Ryan Mathews

Stay away from: Joseph Addai

Your halfbacks will score you the most points, so be sure to craft a careful stable of these guys for your team. The elite players are intimidating, but there are tons of players that can put up respectable points, as well. That’s why I’m going to go with Ryan Mathews as a sleeper. Mathews is a rookie, but is playing for the San Diego Chargers. They figure to have plenty of leads this season and the workhorse figures to get a ton of looks in Norv Turner’s offense. For a guy to steer clear of, look at the Colts’ Joseph Addai. He’s an injury risk and even when healthy, he shares carries with numerous backs in Indy.

• Wide Receiver:

The short list: Andre Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald, Randy Moss

The sleeper: Mike Wallace

Stay away from: Derrick Mason

Like halfback, receivers are abundant because of the spread-out looks most teams have adjusted to. The king of receiving in the NFL today is Andre Johnson. There simply is no one in the world who does it quite as well as he does. But with a sleeper, take a look at Mike Wallace of the Steelers. With Santonio Holmes now in New York with the Jets, the sure-handed Wallace will be thrust into the starting lineup in real life, and also in your fantasy team. The Steelers don’t have many other reliable targets to throw to. Steer clear of the Ravens’ Derrick Mason. With Anquan Boldin now in Baltimore, Mason will no longer have a monopoly on Joe Flacco’s passes.

• Team Defenses:

The short list: New York Jets, Minnesota Vikings, Pittsburgh Steelers

The sleeper: San Francisco 49ers

Stay away from: Carolina Panthers

A team defense is a roster spot often overlooked, but they can yield you some big-time points if you play your cards right.

Historical defensive powers like the Vikings and Steelers always are a steady stream of 15-20 points per week. But for a lesser known, look at the 49ers. The talent is in place for them to have a massive defensive unit. Add a weak division and that’s six games against possible sub-par offenses.

For a team to avoid, that would be the Carolina Panthers. A pair of games with the Saints and Falcons, as well as matchups with the Giants and Bengals don’t do well for one’s defense. Especially when that defense will be without its best player of years past, defensive end Julius Peppers.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Take this advice for what it’s worth. I placed sixth in my 12-team league last year.

Can’t win ’em all.