The Pro Bowl still stinks … but here’s my mock draft

Well we learned this week that the Pro Bowl still stinks.

Thank you, Roger Goodell, for giving us another year of this truly wretched three-hour sporting event, which consists exclusively of sore, exhausted athletes trying their best to enjoy a Hawaiian vacation while avoiding contact at all costs.

But away from the awfulness on the field, this year’s Pro Bowl did provide a little bit of entertainment – several days before the two teams took the field in Honolulu for kickoff.

As you all probably know, the rosters for this year’s game were different. Instead of the usual date between NFC and AFC, we got a game where Deion Sanders and Jerry Rice selected the squads as captains.

The draft was a made-for-TV event with the outspoken rivals squashing and lambasting one another’s picks until the rosters were fully created.

It actually was pretty good sports TV. Much better than the actual game itself, which was arena football without the arena – no defense anywhere in sight.

Apparently defense is like John Madden. It doesn’t fly. So games in Hawaii (pro and college alike) are bound to be 60-55 shootouts between players that appear ready to finish the game and go hang out on the beach.

Jokes aside, this whole fantasy draft thing got me to thinking – what would I do if I were in the same shoes as Sanders or Rice? How would I rank the NFL players if given the option to do so?

So I decided this were the perfect pre-Super Bowl column fodder – the perfect topic to discuss some NFL before the abyss that we call the offseason.

So today, I will list my top players in the league at the ‘sexy’ positions so that everyone at home can see where I stand.

By ‘sexy’ positions, I mean that I’m drafting quarterback, halfback, receivers and a handful of individual defenders.

Just for winks and giggles, I’ll also pick a head coach to guide my fantasy squad.

Now before we start, I want to give the criteria that I used to gauge these picks. I made these picks balancing a player’s talent and also his ability to be around for the future.

I’m treating this from the perspective of an NFL organization, so the future does matter.

That’s why some of the players on the list are younger than some of the other guys who would appear to be better picks if my mission was to win a lone NFL game.

Here’s the list – the official Gisclair Fantasy Draft Guide for NFL Dominance.

This is a highly debatable topic, so feel free to express support or displeasure via Facebook or Twitter.

One thing not up for debate – the Pro Bowl still stinks.

GISCLAIR FANTASY DRAFT RANKINGS

Quarterbacks

1. Peyton Manning – He’s old, but I still go with Manning at the No. 1 spot. He’s too good to pass up. After the best statistical season in NFL history, the guy’s simply not slowing down. Give me three years of Peyton and I’ll figure out my future later.

2. Aaron Rodgers – Rodgers is already elite, but is just 30. With at least seven more good seasons (if healthy), he’s an easy bet as the second in line.

3. Andrew Luck – I’m not a big Andrew Luck guy. But he’s 24, and he’s already making plays. He is the best in the new generation of quarterbacks.

Halfbacks

1. LeSean McCoy – We go with McCoy at the top because of age (25), ability to make big plays (1,607 yards in 2013-14) and the ability to catch out of the backfield.

2. Who Cares? – We’re not just being lazy. Truly, who cares? After McCoy, there are 12 guys who all have similar output around the league. I suppose the easy answer is Adrian Peterson, but he is becoming old and injury prone. Halfback is the most overrated position in the NFL. The most elite at the position rarely win. Want proof? No one in the Top 5 in rushing yards this season won a playoff game. Likewise, just one player in the Top 8 (Marshawn Lynch) found playoff victory. Halfback is a changing position that will be near-extinct in 15 years. So we’ll just take anyone here and be happy.

3. Same as No. 2

Receivers

1. Calvin Johnson – Can you imagine Calvin Johnson and Peyton Manning on the same team? That would be 2,300 yards and 20 TDs for Megatron. Easily.

2. Jimmy Graham – Graham is a tight end, but he’s still primarily a receiver for the Saints’ offense. His ability to make plays in the red-zone is second-to-none in the NFL. New Orleans better pay that man this offseason. They’ll regret it if they don’t.

3. A.J. Green – I still believe that A.J. Green would be Megatron Version 2.0 if he had someone better than wretched Andy Dalton slinging him the ball. Only 25 and oozing with talent, Green could be the next NFL great.

Defenders

1. Richard Sherman – Bash him as you wish, but if I can play man coverage, I can blitz and harass the quarterback. If I can harass the quarterback, I can force turnovers. It’s a defensive win-win. Sherman gives me the ability to do all of those things – the best cover corner that we’ve seen in years.

2. Robert Quinn – Still just 23, Robert Quinn recorded an amazing 19 sacks for the Rams this season. Durability also is a plus. The young stud has missed just one game in his three NFL seasons. I’ll take that in a heartbeat.

3. Luke Kuechly – It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a linebacker as good as aggressive as Kuechly. The guy just simply makes every, single tackle. No literally – he’s always around the football. Kid made 24 stops in a Week 15 win against the Saints. Those were just two-dozen out of the 156 tackles he had on the season. That’s crazy. Oh yeah – he’s just 22, too. If he keeps this up, he’ll be compared to a guy who wore No. 52 and played for the Baltimore Ravens.

Coaches

1. Sean Payton – Just look what happened to the Saints the year he was suspended. Enough said.

2. Bill Belichick – He seems to be the obvious No. 1, but zero rings since SpyGate scare me away and make me wonder the true key behind the Patriots’ dynasty.

3. Jim Harbaugh – The guy is a lunatic, but he wins games. There’s no way around it. Still young, he will continue to grow as an NFL head man.

Super Bowl prediction

I guess it wouldn’t be fair if I broke my tradition of predicting the Super Bowl, so here’s my best stab at this year’s game.

I think Denver wins, but I am concerned about the weather’s impact on the game.

If the wind stays away and no precipitation falls from the sky, I believe the opportunity is present for that victory to come by 10-13 points.

But if it’s a nasty day, all bets are off.

I love Seattle, but I have very big concerns about young Russell Wilson’s ability to play well on such a big stage this early in his career. He’s never won a big game away from Seattle in his entire career – a real concern.

So give me Denver 28, Seattle 20.

But I’m truly making this one with my fingers crossed and with my eyes on weather.com.

But maybe my rooting interests should be with Seattle throughout this whole thing, though.

If Denver wins and Peyton Manning retires, my entire list above gets shot to shambles.

Oh well – it wouldn’t be the first, nor last time I look like a fool.