Boy’s death sparks bully furor

A Galliano teen’s self-inflicted death has become the catalyst for an unprecedented public outcry against school bullying, sparking students to break self-imposed silence and parents to demand that school officials pay attention.

Lafourche Parish school officials are investigating allegations that 15-year-old Garyn Strong was bullied by schoolmates and allegedly harassed by teachers at South Lafourche High School. But they also say they are confidant current policies on bullying are being followed, and that there is no need for review or consider revising them.

School officials said the topic and the process are complex and often difficult for parents or children to fully understand.

“Throughout the school system, sometimes what is seen as bullying is an altercation, and is not bullying. Bullying by definition has to go on several times,” said Lafourche schools spokesman Floyd Benoit. “It’s not that we don’t document the altercations, but it doesn’t always rise to the level of bullying. We have to remember that in all schools there is a bully and person being bullied. Sometimes the person who says they are bullied is a bully, too.”

“IT DOESN’T WORK”

Garyn’s parents and friends say the investigation comes tragically late, and that more should have been done prior to his death. Some students said they are not comfortable reporting bullying to teachers or administrators. They said they know of friends who have complained of bullying, but been wrongfully accused of it themselves.

“Whatever policy they have in effect it doesn’t work,” said Maureen Strong, Garyn’s mother. “They are not enforcing it. And it is not just at the high school; it is elementary through the high school. When they go to complain, they are turning a blind eye and they are blaming the ones who are complaining. The kids are made to feel like they are the ones at fault.”

While many questions still surround Garyn’s death and the school’s response to it, one incontrovertible fact remains, on which all parties in the discussion agree. A seemingly happy-go-lucky child who often spoke of clear plans for a productive future will never attain those goals, because he is now 15 forever.

Experts on teen behavior say there is never a way to truly know why a youngster might have chosen an irreversible, fatal course of action. It is not wise, they caution, to state bullying – or anything else – as a causal factor.

Nonetheless, Garyn’s death and the seeming link to allegations he was bullied struck a combined chord in southern Lafourche Parish.

 

HAPPENING TO ME

The depths to which Garyn’s death resonates were evident Sunday, when hundreds of adults and children showed up for a fund-raising rally at the Cut Off Youth Center.

The appearance of motorcycles and custom cars driven by sympathetic riding club members and the music of a local band lent the flavor of a carnival or celebration. But words spoken from the bandstand as Garyn’s parents looked on, from a girl who never knew their son, anchored the serious underpinnings of the event.

“This is happening to me,” said 12-year-old Grace Potts, a student at Golden Meadow Middle School. “It doesn’t only break your heart, it kills your soul because it’s not only the kids bullying you, it’s the teachers, too. I have got to the point where I wanted to kill myself but I stopped and thought what would my mom and dad and family and friends feel like.”

From the outset, Garyn’s parents pointed accusing fingers at the school system, alleging that their prior complaints of bullying and ill treatment by teachers had gone unaddressed.

“It was pushed under the rug. We give our kids to them in the schools. And they are failing our kids,” Maureen said. “They know what goes on and they turn a blind eye.”

Maureen and her husband Thad are typical of many others in Galliano and surrounding communities, hard-working people in the oil-and-gas, service or commercial fishing industries, who place a high value on family.

Thad is a licensed 200-ton captain and Maureen cleans houses.

“Our world revolves around our kids,” Maureen said. “Without our kids, there is no point in it. It was rare that Garyn wasn’t with us – he was either with one of us. We were always together.”

 

RABBITS AND RAP

The tow-headed, smiling teen was often his father’s hunting and fishing partner, and the two often played video games together.

To merchants and passersby in his neighborhood, Garyn was referred to as “the boy that fishes on the bridge,” a reference to his frequent forays to the Golden Meadow Bridge that spans Bayou Lafourche, where he was seen as a fixture.

Although he was not an avid joiner, Garyn took part in school activities and played tennis for a time on the South Lafourche’s junior varsity team.

After joining the 4-H Club in fourth grade, he raised chickens and rabbits for entry at fairs. Later, he raised rabbits for a business that he operated himself, earning $1,600 in one year. He had recently expressed interest in becoming a junior firefighter.

His musical interests included country and rap.

He kept firm boundaries, relatives and friends said, avoiding youngsters who used alcohol and drugs. Garyn was far from a loner, socializing often with schoolmates as well as a host of cousins.

“We knew he had friends,” Maureen said. “But we didn’t know how many until now.”

At an early age, Garyn was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. He could be a handful and would occasionally blurt out what was on his mind even if the circumstances were not appropriate, and educators watched him closely. But he maintained his grades, Maureen said, and no serious problems were detected.

He was generally a B student, Maureen said, until this year.

Signs of trouble began surfacing at the end of his first high school term.

Then, about six months ago, Maureen said, Garyn told his parents that he was being made fun of and bullied by other kids.

“We didn’t know anything until he came out and told us,” Maureen said. His grades started dropping. There were instances of name-calling and ridicule from fellow students when he had a second ear pierced and began wearing earrings. And there was a problem with one teacher who was, according to Maureen, unfriendly and unhelpful.

 

FISTICUFFS

The teacher, she alleges, branded Garyn “a belligerent idiot” in front of other students in response to what she saw as a rude comment, asking in the classroom, “Are you going to be an idiot all your life?”

The teacher allegedly then said, “You really love me, don’t you.”

The boy’s response to that was, “I f—g hate you.”

That resulted in a 3-day suspension, according to relatives, along with a reputation for having behavioral problems.

A meeting was held with administrators, Maureen said, to discuss painful comments by other children involving sexuality and manhood, and that there were, in some cases, threats of violence.

School officials say they are barred from discussing a student’s records and personal information – even after death – and so cannot confirm or deny information about Garyn, whether it is positive or negative.

But students and some relatives filled in a few blanks.

In October, an issue arose at a marine operations class, when a boy was struck in the face by a rope as Garyn was tossing it in a box. Garyn said it was an accident.

According to classmates and Maureen’s account, the other boy picked up an anchor, appearing to threaten that he would strike Garyn with it. Other students told the boy to stand down and, that if he struck Garyn, they would react.

Nobody notified a teacher.

Two weeks later, according to Maureen, Garyn and the same boy encountered each other.

“Garyn said the little boy kept staring at him and that he said, ‘Stop staring at me,’” Maureen said. “He sat down and the boy went to where Garyn was sitting and took off his glasses. Then he kicked Garyn, then punched Garyn in the face and kicked him in the shin. That hurt, and that was when Garyn started hitting back.”

The other boy was wearing a heart monitor, which was damaged in the fracas. Both boys were suspended from school and Garyn was criminally charged.

“It is not fair for one to go to court and not the other,” Maureen said. At a court appearance before Judge John LeBlanc, Garyn was told that if he got involved in another fight he could end up going into the juvenile justice system until he was 18-years-old.

 

“STUPID QUESTION”

Taunts in one class continued, according to some students, again centering on sexuality, with some of the alleged tormenters calling Garyn “fag” and “girl names.” His weight was also an issue, and some of the kids repeatedly called him “fat.”

In that same class Garyn – as well as some others – are alleged occasionally picked on by the teacher in front of everyone.

One boy, a friend of Garyn’s who served as a pallbearer at his funeral, said the teacher was relating how Abraham Lincoln dreamed of seeing himself laid out for death in his White House bed.

“Was he psychic?” Garyn allegedly piped up and said.

The teacher’s response, the student said, was “that was a stupid question.”

The same teacher had referred to Garyn as stupid before, the classmate said, as well as other students who sometimes talked out of turn.

Sometimes, the boy said, Garyn’s questions appeared legitimate – like the one about Lincoln  – and sometimes they appeared offered for laughs. Garyn, the boy said, did not have a reputation as the class clown, however. That distinction, he said, belonged to another student who was similarly labeled by the teacher. Other students backed up the allegations in interviews.

When told of the allegations, South Lafourche Principal Gaye Cheramie said that all aspects of Garyn’s time at South Lafourche are being investigated, including faculty.

Because the allegations of verbal abuse by teachers have not been independently substantiated, the Tri-Parish Times is not identifying them.

 

BIRD CONFUSION

About a week before Garyn’s death another incident occurred, which friends and family may have set the stage for tragedy.

While riding in a pickup with another boy, Garyn “shot the bird” at a friend, who usually engaged with him in light-hearted back-and-forth antics of that nature.

Another boy, according to students, was standing nearby and thought the silent epithet was meant for him. The boy allegedly left a voice mail on Garyn’s phone demanding that they fight, and suggesting what he would do to Garyn. The call was allegedly made from the phone of the boy who spoke of the incident, but without his knowledge. He was a friend to both Garyn and the allegedly insulted party.

“He was told from several kids he was going to get hit,” Maureen said. “He kept an eye out to make sure he wouldn’t get jumped from behind. He had to go back to court in February and the judge told him he had to stay out of trouble.”

Garyn was allegedly told that when he showed up for school the following Tuesday – the first day of classes after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday – a fight would ensue whether he wanted one or not. That, friends said, caused Garyn a good bit of worry, as he was convinced that a fight plus the pending court date would not mix.

He told at least one friend he was afraid he would go to “juvie” until he was 18 years old.

Thad and Maureen wanted to go to South Lafourche High School and talk with administrators about the problem.

“He begged us not to go,” Maureen said. “He said that if we did, he would get picked on even worse. He felt agitated.”

 

ICE CREAM AND A BELT

On Friday, the last day of his life, Garyn was driven to school by his parents.

“He woke up in a good mood,” Maureen sad. “After school he was with friends, they were joking and laughing. He had played with his little cousin.”

Garyn asked for permission to fish on the bridge, and his parents said yes. He was there with a friend until nearly dark, then came home and ate.

After dinner, there was chocolate ice cream, which Garyn ate only some of, putting the rest in the freezer for later.

Maureen went to bed early. She had been tiring easily after just getting over a bad cold. Garyn watched television with his father, who had promised to play a game with him later on the family’s PS3 gaming system. Thad dozed off and Garyn, as near as can be determined, retreated to the family’s kitchen, a room set off to the side in their house, and played the game “Candy Crush” on his father’s cell phone, wearing an Aeropostale shirt and sweat pants.

At some point he ventured to the bathroom and removed the web belt from his school uniform pants, which were in a hamper, and returned to the kitchen, according to the best his parents can figure.

At around 9:30 p.m., Thad awoke and walked into the kitchen for something to drink. He saw his son, the school belt around his neck.

The frantic parents tried performing CPR, but it was no use.

The cause of death, according to Lafourche Parish Coroner John King, was asphyxiation.

Mainstream media do not cover suicides, unless there is some newsworthy aspect, such as the choice of a public place.

 

ALL ABOUT THE KIDS

WWL television was contacted by family members who were convinced that Garyn’s death was due to asphyxiation by bullying, and the grieving parents were willing to talk.

Word of Garyn’s death spread up and down Bayou Lafourche, as did the bullying accusations. Youngsters were not surprised. Parents spoke of their children’s experiences, and their own problems with bullying when they themselves were in school.

Social networking boosted the chatter, as did the WWL-TV stories, and some newspaper stories that followed.

The Lafourche Parish Sheriff’s Office is conducting an investigation, but officials said it is limited more to evidence of cyber-bullying, the only scenario where a criminal charge against anyone might be likely.

Nearly 300 people showed up at Garyn’s wake, a part of funeral services paid for through an appeal on the Internet crowd-funding site gofundme.com. The donations there totaled $11,797.

The Sunday benefit – initially booked when the family did not know how the Internet appeal would work out – drew $2,421 and the auction, another $1,600.

The Strongs say leftover money will be put to good use, possibly a foundation to help parents of suicide victims to bury their children, or an anti-bullying campaign.

They have not yet had time to nail down the details.

There is some comfort in the fact that Garyn was an organ donor and that his death has prompted other children to speak out to their parents and anyone else who will listen.

They are not happy that school administrators say their policies are adequate. If they were, the Strongs reason, they would not have had to bury a son.

“They need to look at all of that with a microscope,” Maureen said. “If they are not going to review or change anything, it is not going to help the children. And it needs to be all about the kids.”

Golden Meadow Middle School student Grace Potts addresses attendees at benefit for Garyn Strong’s family, telling them she has been bullied and in the past contemplated suicide. Strong, 15, hanged himself Jan. 17. He’d told his mother earlier that he’d been bullied at school.

JOHN DESANTIS | TRI-PARISH TIMES