Authentic love always strives to do what is best for another

Amid all the excitement about the Saints playing in the Super Bowl and the Mardi Gras’ season in full swing, we don’t want to forget Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is associated with love, which is the topic of this article.

When couples plan their wedding ceremony, the most popular scripture message chosen is St. Paul’s treatise on love from I Corinthians 13. Even non-Christians find great consolation and truth from this passage on the nature of love.

Paul starts with a most important observation. He tells us that it is not what we do but why we do it that counts in life and in the sight of God. So if we speak with great eloquence, but do not have love, we are empty noisemakers.

If we have enough faith to remove mountains, but do not have love, we are nothing. If we give everything we have away – our house, car or money – but do not have love, it doesn’t do us any good whatsoever. Our motives are the most important elements of our lives.

T.S. Eliot’s play, “Murder in the Cathedral,” takes place in England in 1170. King Henry II made Thomas Becket his chancellor. Since every thing was going well, Henry uses his influence to have Becket consecrated as Archbishop of Canterbury. As he is about to take his office, a succession of tempters visits him, three of which parallel the Temptations of Christ.

The first temptation deals with his physical safety, the second offers him power, riches and fame, and the third a coalition with the barons to resist the King. Finally, the fourth temptation urges him to seek the glory of martyrdom.

Taken aback by this fourth temptation, Thomas replies: “The last temptation is the greatest treason: to do the right deed for the wrong reason.” That’s the same message Jesus was telling us when he talked about praying, fasting and giving financial assistance. He said, “Do it secretly so that God alone will see what you are doing. Never do good deeds to get credit from others.” Again, our motives drive our spiritual lives!

For Christians, our love is based on the fact that God’s very nature is love. St. John tells us, “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

True love rids itself of all selfishness and becomes totally interested in the other person. Genuine love never says “what’s in it for me.” Authentic love always strives to do what is best for another. It is not based on feeling, which can come and go. It is based on a commitment to love no matter what happens.

St. Paul lists some qualities of a loving person, “Love is kind, not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” A good test to see how loving we are is to put our name in the place of “love”: Joe or Mary is kind, etc.

St. Paul also tells us that love is a gift from God. Jesus said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

How did Jesus love – unconditionally with no strings attached. Jesus loved everyone, even sinners with no “ifs,” “whens” or “buts” associated with his love.

I personally believe that the only way humans can love this way is by the grace of God. It’s a special gift.

Pray that God sends you this special gift of love.