What a Life! for January 10, 2007-January 17, 2007

You have probably heard the expression coined by Father Henri Nouwen that we are all “wounded healers.” Jesus has given us the command and the power to bring healing into the lives of others. However, we must never forget that we are also in need of healing.

Sometimes, one of these realities appears stronger than the other. At times we feel on top of life and do not feel our own need for healing. We feel able to respond to the needs of others and freely lend a listening ear or a helping hand. Then, at other times, we get caught up in our own pain and suffering and struggle just to get through the day without falling apart.

Not allowing one side of this equation to get out of balance is so important. If we are always reaching out in love and compassion to others, but are not attending to our own inner needs for healing, we may find ourselves one day in a terrible situation of burnout and depletion. We must remember that Jesus calls us to love others as we love ourselves. So many good people have pushed themselves to the extreme and wound up useless in the end because they have given everything they had and now are completely empty. It costs us something to reach out to others.

When we find ourselves running on empty, we can always go to Jesus for healing. He will grant us the peace and strength we need. Or he may direct us to others who can help us through a rather difficult time. The Lord will lead us in a specific direction. Our task is to remain open to whatever and wherever the Lord is leading us.

God does not want us to remain alone and isolated in our need for healing. Seek out friends or groups or organizations that can help us through difficult times. This is not a sign of weakness, but of wisdom. Wise persons know they cannot do everything by themselves. They seek help wherever it can be found.

Our need for healing should not stop us from loving deeply. Fr. Henri Nouwen in his book, The Inner Voice of Love, says, “Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply.

The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence or death, you are faced with a choice.

You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.

“The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart, even when they depart from you. They will become part of your self and thus gradually build a community within you.

Those you have loved deeply become a part of you . . . Yes, as you love deeply, the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.”

Love deeply but attend to your own needs.