Mandated therapy may better serve divorcing couples, counselor says

Effective this year, it will take longer for wedded couples with children to legally part ways.

The law n penned by Rep. Ernest Alexander (D-43) n mandates that couples with children under age 18 who are seeking a divorce to live separately for 365 days instead of the previous 180 days.

Petitions for divorce filed on or after Jan. 1 may be subject to the new separation extension.

Under the law, the 180-day separation process will still suffice only for divorcing couples that do not have children or do not have children together. The extended wait is also waived if there is proof of physical or sexual abuse of the filing spouse or a child, or if there is a protective order or injunction against the other spouse at the time of divorce petition.

Alexander said last summer when the bill was debated in the legislature that the objective of the new law is to give couples more time to reconsider divorce. The law is designed to deter married couples with children from divorcing, if possible, for the sake of the children, he said.

Critics ask, however, is it always best for children if their parents stay together?

“Divorce is always difficult for children,” said Dr. Paul Ganier, a Thibodaux-based marriage counselor who frequently administers psychiatric evaluations in custody cases.

Ganier applauded the law’s acknowledgement of the harm abusive family situations. Relationships that expose children to physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse are not likely to provide an emotionally healthy or stable environment for children, he said.

However, the new law waives the separation extension in cases of physical and sexual abuse only; it does not include circumstances of emotional, verbal, or substance abuse, which can negatively affect children as well.

Critics have also said an extra six months may prolong bickering between spouses and add to expensive lawyers’ fees.

As one who directly works with children of divorced parents, Ganier agrees with state lawmakers that divorce should be avoided when not absolutely necessary, but he fears the new law is going about it the wrong way.

“I see a lot of unnecessary divorces, but I do not see a separation period extension helpful,” he said. “It’s not so much the amount of time of a separation that is beneficial to a couple, but what is done within that time.”

Ganier believes that more couples engaging in marriage counseling would be much more effective in making the best decision rather than simply forcing couples to wait longer for the divorce to become final.

Many separated couples want the divorce as soon as possible because they view the marriage as over as soon as a spouse files legal proceedings. “They long for the closure brought from the divorce being final,” he said.

But Ganier said he has seen many couples legally separate and later opt not to divorce.

Through marriage counseling, many couples are able to work out the issues that led them to petition for the divorce, he said. A law mandating counseling or education programs during the time of separation could better serve couples, he said.

“A positive result of the new law is that it may give couples more time to consider counseling, or even if the result is divorce, it may lessen the number of rebound marriages because it gives spouses more time to heal,” he said.

Ganier said that many divorced individuals remarry prematurely in order to fill an emotional need or find security rather than taking adequate healing time. Since many rebound marriages are prone to yield the same result as the previous marriage, more time can be helpful by creating a more in-depth healing process before moving on to another relationship, he said.

Tri-parish lawmakers’ votes for the law were mixed. Supporters of the divorce law included Rep. Warren J. Triche Jr., Rep. Gordon E. Dove Sr., Sen. Reggie Dupre Jr., Sen. Joel Chaisson and Sen. D.A. “Butch” Gautreaux. Locally, Rep. Damon J. Baldone and Rep. Loulan J. Pitre Jr. opposed the legislation. Reps. Carla Blanchard Dartez and Jack D. Smith were absent for the vote.