Sharing and planning as one requires new mindset

Dear Dave,

My son is in his thirties and has been married for seven years to a girl from a wealthy family. Her parents provided them with a lot of financial support over the years, but now they’re getting divorced and he has come to us for the money to make this happen. On top of all this, when we ask him why he doesn’t have the money he tells us it’s none of our business. We don’t like his attitude, but we’re not sure what to do.

-Dee

Dear Dee,

This is a grown man we’re talking about, and if he’s going to take on the lifestyle and actions of a grown-up he needs to act like one and take care of his responsibilities. I understand he’s your son, and he’s hurting right now. Still, it takes a ton of arrogance to beg money from someone and tell them the reason they don’t have it is not their business.

If he seriously wants to get into some financial counseling and start becoming accountable for his money — to himself and to you — then you might consider helping him out financially. But at this point, you’re giving a drunk a drink if you just hand him money because he wants it.

Anyone can make a mistake, Dee. But it’s not your job to fund his irresponsible behavior or his arrogance!

UMBRELLA POLICY?

Dear Dave,

I follow you on Twitter, and I was wondering if you recommend buying an umbrella policy. If so, how much?

-Dean

Dear Dean,

If you’ve started to win with money and build some wealth, an umbrella policy is some of the cheapest insurance you can buy. It’s just about the biggest bang for your buck.

Here’s an example. In most states, you can get an extra $1 million in liability coverage added to your car insurance and homeowners insurance as an umbrella policy for as little as $200 a year.

There’s no problem if you don’t have any money. But if you’ve got some cash, and you bump into somebody, it’s a really good thing to have that extra umbrella insurance policy in liability situations!

— Dave

SFF RAMSEY. PARFA13

SHARING AND PLANNING AS ONE Dear Dave,

How do I get my girlfriend to take a more active role in planning a family budget?

–David

Dear David,

Many marriage counselors will tell you if a couple comes to agreement on four major issues — money, kids, religion and in-laws — they have a greater chance of forming a successful and lasting marriage.

Try sitting down with her and explaining from your heart how important it is to you that she’s involved in the budgeting process. I believe it’s vitally important that financial decisions are made by husband and wife together – as one. Most women value communication in a relationship, and the process of doing a monthly budget together will be a wonderful sharing experience for the two of you.

Money isn’t the most important thing in the world, David. But the way a couple handles money is representative of their dreams, passions and fears. It’s also indicative of their vision for -Dave

BE THE DAD!

Dear Dave,

My son works, but he’s 19 and lives at home. He’s on my auto insurance and cell phone accounts. He’s supposed to pay his share of these bills, but forgets. How do I teach him to be responsible?

–Steve

Dear Dave,

It sounds like it’s time for you to stand up and be a dad, my friend. Take action! Let him know with utter certainty you’re going to shut off his cell phone and cancel his insurance the next time he doesn’t have his share of the money when the bill comes due.

EDITOR’S NOTE:Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He has authored five New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace,

More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover, EntreLeadership and Smart Money Smart Kids. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 8 million listeners each week on more than 500 radio stations. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.

DAVE RAMSEY

Financial Guru