I had a dream/prediction

I had a dream (a prediction, perhaps, since everything seems so likely to happen) that I would like to share with you. It takes place in the future, exactly 20 years from now.

Here goes: President Bristol Palin is on a victory tour of her successful invasion of Puerto Rico, which she has now dubbed as “mini-Cuba,” although she did not find Osama Bin Laden, who she claimed was hiding somewhere in the mountains there. When Palin recovers from San Juan-Revenge (similar to Montezuma’s Revenge), she will continue on to Southeast Asia to see former President Barack Obama, who has moved to his real homeland, Indonesia, where he is now that nation’s top basketball player. There he is lovingly known as “Rubber Lip,” a nickname he picked up in America during his basketball days there.

Meanwhile back at home, the divorce between the other former president, Bill Clinton, and his ex-wife, Hillary, has been splashed all over the tabloids, primarily because Hillary and Oprah have been dating for months. Bill, meanwhile, has been seen with both reshaved Britney Spears as well as Lindsey Lohan, recently released from rehab for the 38th time.

To the north, President Palin’s selection of one of Louisiana’s finest, former governor Bobby Jindal, as ambassador to Antarctica and Secretary of Education to the Penguin Nation, has been hailed as a major step forward in the healing of Louisiana’s educational system, now ranked 51st in the nation just below Guantanamo Bay.

Speaking of Louisiana, Gov. William Jefferson recently appointed his brother Mose to head up the 20-year-old Road Home program. Mose then named his wife, two sisters, son, daughter-in-law, former pastor, gardener and former Judge Thomas Porteus to his non-profit, which is not connected to the Road Home program but definitely stealing from it.

Nationally, the country’s largest political party, the Tea and Coffee with Sugar Party, pulled all its support for President Palin over a decades-old report that she was a better dancer than Jennifer Grey. Jumping head first into the tumultuous political in-fighting between the president and her former party was the new chancellor of Harvard University, Sarah Palin, who said: “I’m not sure what all the ruckus is about, but if everyone went white-water rafting it would be a better world, you betcha.”

On the world front, in what is being called a bold political move, the U.N. has come out in support of feeding starving people, although the organization would not name which countries should be given aid, nor when. Russia has refused to comment. North Korea has not been told that the U.N. exists. President Palin has not been told North Korea exists. All is right with the world.

Back home in sports, divorcee Brett Favre has been named MVP of the two-year-old football/hockey league for leading the Anaheim Mighty Ducklings to a stirring 2-0 win over the Yuma Sandstorm. Held in Juarez, Mexico, only 16 people were shot during the game, a record.

In other sporting news, Peyton Manning’s son, Yogi, has been awarded a full scholarship to play quarterback for the MSU Fighting Tigers, formerly the Louisiana State Fighting Tigers before moving to Mississippi because funding cuts by the former governor of Louisiana and the present Secretary of Education to the Penguin Nation destroyed higher education in Louisiana. Said the Secretary of Education to the penguins: “Now that Louisiana has only K to 12, all the residents can get good jobs at the 7-11.”